PAPA : The Grand-Factor

The Grand-Factor

     In last month's blogs, I attempted to tickle taste buds for Larry Crabb's book The PAPA Prayer (the right sidebar contains links to August's PAPA blogs). Now, I cautiously approach The PAPA Prayer's step #1 and search for ways to warm readers into its significance. To some, it may seem like aimlessly talking to walls, learning a foreign language, or an awkward dance.

 

     In Step #1, PRĒSENT, the goal is to become vulnerable and brutally honest with yourself and with God. To help grasp this idea, it is important to take a temporary detour. In a recent Today Show segment, a Boston College study shares intriguing findings that I label, The Grand-Factor. Their research concludes that: "Grandparents and adult grandchildren who are close are both less likely to be depressed." The positive effect is mutual, for the grandparent and the young adult.

     A grandparent helps the young adult to have a link to someone who has "been there & done that; survived; and come out on the other end." Active, surviving grandparent(s) who give back rather than just being cared for benefit from the relationship. Accept grandma's family china set when she offers it; show grandma or grandpa your resume.

     In the movie The Vow (based on a true story), the Grand-Factor is absent, but would have been beneficial. A traumatic head injury leaves young Newlywed Paige with no remembrance of Husband Leo. Her parents, sister, and high school buddies remain distinctly in Paige's memory banks, except for one critical and pivotal piece of family history. Five years previously, her dad's humiliating affair, with Paige's high school buddy, propelled her to sever all ties with family, as well as any law aspirations... and pursue her creative side.

     If anyone needed the Grand-Factor, didn't devastated Paige as an older teen? To have a caring, loving, and close idyllic "Grandparent Walton" with whom to openly PRESENT... her anger, sadness, and tearful humiliation? She needed someone connected, yet balanced... to simply listen and nod his or her head as Paige shares: Doesn't Dad know how humiliated I feel? All of my friends know! How could he do this? I HATE him!! It offends me that Mom stays with him!!!!!!!!

     After a prolonged, brutally honest conversation, an endearingly familiar "game" would begin, for Paige to absorb a special Grand-Factor commitment: Did you know that I love you, Paige?... more than... chocolate-covered strawberries?

     In turn, Paige may have warmly responded with her favorite childhood retort: "You are the best. I love you... more than... apple pie!"

     Hopefully this idea of the Grand-Factor sets the stage for The PAPA Prayer's Step #1: PRĒSENT yourself. In this step, it is critical to openly present ourselves (hurts or questions, happy events or offenses, insecurities or worries... intriguing scarab scars, artistic tattoos, ugly warts, and all) lest Steps #2-4 be sabotaged or short-circuited. Crabb says that any and all prayer requests should be saved for Step #4.

     If it feels uncomfortable to pray like this, or if it takes a huge leap to feel genuine (talking to the four walls), simply say: Lord Jesus, I can't do this. My mind is racing and actually I'm uncomfortable and feel quite bored. Help me to be real with You and God.

      In the New Testament and today, we have a special link to Someone who has "been-there." It is Jesus, God's approachable Son. Our perfect Savior Jesus is the only avenue to the Holy Father (John 3:16).

     For the informative 4-minute Today Show Grand-Factor segment, click this link: http://www.today.com/health/grandparents-grandkids-can-protect-each-others-mental-health-6C10898312