PAPA : The Grand-Factor

The Grand-Factor

     In last month's blogs, I attempted to tickle taste buds for Larry Crabb's book The PAPA Prayer (the right sidebar contains links to August's PAPA blogs). Now, I cautiously approach The PAPA Prayer's step #1 and search for ways to warm readers into its significance. To some, it may seem like aimlessly talking to walls, learning a foreign language, or an awkward dance.

 

     In Step #1, PRĒSENT, the goal is to become vulnerable and brutally honest with yourself and with God. To help grasp this idea, it is important to take a temporary detour. In a recent Today Show segment, a Boston College study shares intriguing findings that I label, The Grand-Factor. Their research concludes that: "Grandparents and adult grandchildren who are close are both less likely to be depressed." The positive effect is mutual, for the grandparent and the young adult.

     A grandparent helps the young adult to have a link to someone who has "been there & done that; survived; and come out on the other end." Active, surviving grandparent(s) who give back rather than just being cared for benefit from the relationship. Accept grandma's family china set when she offers it; show grandma or grandpa your resume.

     In the movie The Vow (based on a true story), the Grand-Factor is absent, but would have been beneficial. A traumatic head injury leaves young Newlywed Paige with no remembrance of Husband Leo. Her parents, sister, and high school buddies remain distinctly in Paige's memory banks, except for one critical and pivotal piece of family history. Five years previously, her dad's humiliating affair, with Paige's high school buddy, propelled her to sever all ties with family, as well as any law aspirations... and pursue her creative side.

     If anyone needed the Grand-Factor, didn't devastated Paige as an older teen? To have a caring, loving, and close idyllic "Grandparent Walton" with whom to openly PRESENT... her anger, sadness, and tearful humiliation? She needed someone connected, yet balanced... to simply listen and nod his or her head as Paige shares: Doesn't Dad know how humiliated I feel? All of my friends know! How could he do this? I HATE him!! It offends me that Mom stays with him!!!!!!!!

     After a prolonged, brutally honest conversation, an endearingly familiar "game" would begin, for Paige to absorb a special Grand-Factor commitment: Did you know that I love you, Paige?... more than... chocolate-covered strawberries?

     In turn, Paige may have warmly responded with her favorite childhood retort: "You are the best. I love you... more than... apple pie!"

     Hopefully this idea of the Grand-Factor sets the stage for The PAPA Prayer's Step #1: PRĒSENT yourself. In this step, it is critical to openly present ourselves (hurts or questions, happy events or offenses, insecurities or worries... intriguing scarab scars, artistic tattoos, ugly warts, and all) lest Steps #2-4 be sabotaged or short-circuited. Crabb says that any and all prayer requests should be saved for Step #4.

     If it feels uncomfortable to pray like this, or if it takes a huge leap to feel genuine (talking to the four walls), simply say: Lord Jesus, I can't do this. My mind is racing and actually I'm uncomfortable and feel quite bored. Help me to be real with You and God.

      In the New Testament and today, we have a special link to Someone who has "been-there." It is Jesus, God's approachable Son. Our perfect Savior Jesus is the only avenue to the Holy Father (John 3:16).

     For the informative 4-minute Today Show Grand-Factor segment, click this link: http://www.today.com/health/grandparents-grandkids-can-protect-each-others-mental-health-6C10898312

PAPA : #1

The beach is heaven as we celebrate... 37!!

 

     Today I intentionally steal a few moments to capture thoughts about the man I love. We married on a hot and sweaty August evening. Despite incredibly low Freon levels in the church's air conditioner, our hotel reservations mysteriously vanishing, and no extended honeymoon... we still believe that Friday the 13th is magical. Our union was on that superstitious day, yet the love endures as respect for my "soul mate" continues to grow.

 

     He is "...the butter to my bread and the breath to my life" (Julie & Julia)... He adds fullness and dimension to this invisibly-blogging homebody. For the last 37 years we have birthed and raised together two treasured children: a responsible son who keeps us grounded, centered, and s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-d, and a caring daughter who beautifies our lives. We love our ever-expanding family (we recently welcomed grandchild #2).

 

     My husband works hard, loves Taco Bueno, and has a special fondness for kayaking and walking on the beach listening to endless crashes of waves. Yada... and yada, yada... other anniversary soliloquies are best communicated... with DRAMATIC FLAIR!  



Intriguing "Harry" flies with me to exotic places



Heroic "Spidy" saves this occasional damsel in distress

 

Whimsical "Goofy" lightens the tension 



Our magic kingdom needs no mice, thank you

        A hesitant confession is overdue. During our 37 committed years together... there has been Another in my life (it is not Harry, Spidy, Goofy OR Mickey). My husband is #2, and the Other possesses position #1 for my allegiance. My love and respect for #1 grows as He accompanies us to exotic places (most recently to Florida), He saves me during sticky situations, and He was actually the Finder of OUR Magic Kingdom as well as our castle (my husband thinks he found it). My #1 is PAPA God.


       Patient study, and practice, and blogging of the book The PAPA Prayer has subtly, colorfully-enhanced my ordinary world, like a vivid Avatar jungle scene. During sporadic "missions" I experience figurative flight, resembling daring Jake Sully's Great red Leonopteryx ride in Avatar.

     PAPA God is alive and active, most acutely on my recent extended "missions" trip to Chicago. It included two quick aunt-stopovers plus a sweet, lengthy stay at my daughter's to welcome our newest grandchild. My daughter's delivery couldn't have been smoother, and Grandchild #1's potential asthma crisis (during Momma's hospital stay) was gracefully averted. His episodes are rare, but expensive ER visits are normally required. This time, with many pray-ers, plus skilled and timely (literal) breath-taking intervention, we were spared simultaneous patients in opposite ends of the hospital.
 

     Yet, on the other hand. Life has its enduring difficulties. July visits with endearing aunts have sensitized me to serious ailments and looming, aging, care decisions. Their vulnerable physical frailties are fresh on my mind, so I somewhat shudder and identify with this less palatable portion of Larry Crabb's book: "...I am developing a comforting sense that the best is yet to come, even if I end up alone [emphasis mine] in a nursing home with attendants taking care of me..." (p. 12).

     The PAPA Prayer is anything but a rigid formula or recipe for answered prayer and success. It is a recipe starter, or a beginning base, to flavor a relational prayer life with God. A savory tickling of taste buds for PAPA has been the intention of my August blogs. In September, I will butter the bread.

PAPA : Follow the Shade

     Poolside adventures continue as I experience Day Three of my husband's sunny Florida business trip, preparing to write this third PAPA blog. Today I notice the tremendous advantage of securing a lounge chair in the protective shade, and as soon as scorching noon rays appear, I find new shade. UVA and UVB rays are problematic, particularly today. My husband hid the SPF 30 sunscreen, so shade = skin protection.

     I will return to Springfield with various shade memories. Chameleons seem to like the shade. While lying poolside, I cautiously respect the dozens of bees that pollinate what I hope are safe, overhanging, flowering shade bushes. I find two spongy balls in the shade. When fluffy clouds overtake the skies and cover the entire area with shade, invigorating pool laps beacon me.

    Today (in the shade) I chat with a mother whose son is participating in the 2013 World Yo-yo Championships, currently being held at our hotel. That explains the increased noise last night, when teenagers infiltrated the hotel, with busy yo-yo-ing elevators, and heavy doors yo-yoing shut, with loud thunks-- yo-yo YOLO! The YouTube clip below shows dramatic and impressive feats of coordination.

     That enlightening yo-yo conversation and other shade experiences fill me. I dare to dub, temporarily, for this Florida post only, The PAPA Prayer's subtitle to be: Follow the PAPA Shade. His shade has its unexpected surprises; I receive insightful information; it helps to manage stinging yo-yo insecurities; it cools and refreshes. I earnestly seek shade in Florida, like I seek refreshing PAPA God.

     I want to experience more of PAPA God. Two introductory quotes from PAPA intrigue me, draw me into its message, and resemble a special invitation into cooling shade:

...Brennan Manning and I were chatting after we had spoken at a conference together.
"Where are you heading from here?" I asked.
"I begin a week long prayer retreat by myself in two days."
I'd never done that, so I was curious. "What does a week like that do for you? How does God respond to your praying for a week?"
Brennan looked a little puzzled, and then said, "I've never thought about what I get out of it. I just figure God likes it when I show up [emphasis mine]."  (The PAPA Prayer, p. xv)

...[The PAPA Prayer] is a way of coming to God that delights Him and changes us [emphasis mine] (p. 9).

PAPA : Immensely Good

Todd "kicks" as Dad swims while in Todd's tight headlock

      This is Day Two of my husband's business trip, and again I sit poolside (after a very refreshing swim). As I attempt to prepare for and plan the contents of this entry, I ask for Help... to give Him due justice. I don't want to present God in a way that limits.  

     A toddler entering the pool catches my attention (for "kicks" he will hereafter be named Todd). The Dad/Todd swimming dance begins. Dad holds Todd as they adjust to the water's temperature. In no time the little guy is ready to kinda/sorta feel independent. He exits the water to walk along the pool's edge. Don't run, Dad instructs. 

     Don't run? Awww, that's no fun! Todd decides it is much more stimulating to be in the water. Todd again is held by Dad as they walk in the baby pool together.

     The swim experience begins. Dad wraps his son's pint-sized arms around his neck, holding Todd over his strong shoulders. Todd has a much better view of the pool and almost feels like he is swimming. Kick, kick, kick. The Dad/Todd dance continues until Todd wants to swim in the water rather than on Dad's shoulders. The next water step progresses, and Todd's skinny little arms are awkwardly threaded through mammoth floaties ... to dive into swimming.

      I wish for a present, earthly Papa (my Dad passed over 7 years ago). I wish to be respectfully pursued and to ride on his shoulders. When running poolside, I hope my strong-will defers to wise Papa's: Walk; Don't Run! I want to embrace his neck and see ahead with a birds-eye view, as he patiently teaches me the world. I wish for beneficial trust in his tender strength.

      My earthly Papa-dance can either interfere with or enhance my relationship with PAPA God. I want to trust PAPA. I want to see Him as strong, yet the respectful, loving, motivating pursuer. I am learning that He is trustworthy and immensely good. These are my basic foundations for even desiring to dive into: The PAPA Prayer.

PAPA : Good

     As I accompany my husband on a business trip this week, reading by the pool is my refreshing lot. Poolside with The PAPA Prayer makes the experience quite satisfying.

     In my final July blog I vowed to spend August focusing on PAPA; that will not be difficult. I love the book and have studied it for years. In this entry I begin at the beginning. I start with introductory quotes from the book. This early on, it would be premature to quench thirsts, but hopefully the following will pique PAPA appetites:

1. My friend turned toward me and said, "Suppose when you picked me up [in the car], the first thing I said to you had been, 'Larry, I need...advice...and...could you...pick up a prescription...and oh, by the way, any chance of a loan? '...         I don't know how to just be with God. So I ask Him for lots of things... (The PAPA Prayer, p. xiv).
2. But if God is so good as you represent Him, and if He knows all that we need, and better than we do ourselves, why should it be necessary to ask Him for anything?     I answer, What if He knows Prayer to be the thing we need first and most? What if the main object in God's idea of prayer be the supplying of our great, our endless need--the need of Himself? (emphasis mine)... Communion with God is the one need of the soul beyond all other need: prayer is the beginning of that communion, and some need is the motive of that prayer. So begins a communion, a talking with God, a coming-to-one with Him, (emphasis mine) which is the sole end of prayer. (George MacDonald, The PAPA Prayer Introductory remarks).   

Sweet Crossings

     In one of my premiere Deo Volente entries, I reminisce about a soaking lake walk experience with my husband. We were unexpectedly caught in a major downpour with lightning filling the skies. Last night, for the second time in 8 years of lake walks, we once again were unexpectedly caught, this time with no umbrella and at the farthest location possible from our parked car. 

    Rain water never melted anyone! we quip as we press on at roadrunner pace. We repeat the errant mantra: Surely the rain is just about to stop. 

     It drizzles then pours, and drizzles then pours, throughout the entire return walk. We arrive to the car in need of either a spin cycle or a quick change; we choose the latter and then celebrate with Braum's soft chocolate fro-yos.
 
     A recent NPR Ted Talk floods my mind as I write this watery entry. In 2005 a brave, 30-plus-year-old woman sets out on an adventure, in a row boat alone, crossing the Atlantic Ocean. It takes her a little over 3 months to cover about 3,000 miles. It is the year of Hurricane Katrina, with more tropical storms than ever before. All of her oars break. She resourcefully fixes the first oar with duct tape and a boat hook, and ensuing breaks are fixed in various creative ways. The oar challenges are a symbol of going beyond her limits.

     During Roz Savage's Ted Talk presentation she addresses questions like: How did you sleep? What did you eat? What challenges did you experience? What did you wear? Did you have a chase boat?

     After that successful Atlantic crossing she decides to take on the Pacific Ocean, and briefly shares her experiences and challenges accomplishing that goal. Her main mid-life passions include sharing about her adventurous experiences and inspiring others to help the environment.

Karen H. Good

     Spring 2012, I set out on an adventure. My goal is to "know thyself" as I stretch my writing skill set. I hesitantly leave my secure position and cross figurative open waters. I compose my historical family memoir, successfully rowing a figurative Atlantic Ocean. I go beyond my limits.

     A second adventure compels me... I vow to blog for 12 months and cross what seems like a forever, figurative Pacific Ocean. I row in my little kayak (even though the above-pictured, red, polka dot sailboat would be a cuter transport). After 9 long months of blogging, the expanse seems endless. My hands are raw, I am sun scorched, and my stamina wanes.

     Direction is sought from a distant power plant and GPS, as well as a deep, sixth sense compass. The idea to review one of my favorite books intensifies, addressing a most strenuous topic. This adept non-fiction creates in my mind an enormous paradigm shift about how I see God. It sustains me and feeds my Boomer passions to share adventures that might someday inspire others. August entries will explain the paradigm shift as sweet crossings kayak to Larry Crabb's refreshing primer: The PAPA Prayer.


Click here for Ted Talk's Rowing the Atlantic Roz Savage