The Closet: TIPS

The Closet (Blog #3)

Hubby's stations & rolled t-shirts in bins

     The following are some helpful organizing and cleaning tips learned thus far in my closet-organizing... adventure (see disclaimer below):

• Have a plan. Give time for ideas to germinate and evolve (isn't that perfect justification for why I didn't rush into this project?)

• Invest. It is worthwhile to spend the money for the right tools (shoe organizers, baskets).

• Cover your nose. If you have dust allergies, wear a dust mask. Vacuuming as much as possible before moving the clothes and shoes will alleviate allergies (I ended up sneezing with a stuffy nose).

• Promote visibility with lighting. To prevent the clothes-hiding factor, and to speed up your clothing and shoe searches, it is imperative to clearly see. I upped the wattage in my closet's bulbs; or, buy a few battery-operated dome lights, and place them on the inside walls.

• Provide clothing stations. My husband's workout/casual wear is now in one station (shoes, shirts, and pants), and his work clothes are in another station.

• File, file, file. As you hang your clothing, treat it like a filing system. Place your dresses together, your pants together, and so on. Within each section, align items by color, on color-coordinated hangers (c.-c. hangers are a dream idea from a website... it's not necessary, but certainly sounds professional).

• Store to save space. To save closet rod space, hang pants lengthwise (don't fold them in half--that bulks them up and encourages unsightly knee creases). Use hangers that have grips.

• Store for practicality. Sweaters and heavy knits keep their shape better when kept folded on a shelf. (If sweaters end up a bit wrinkled as you dress, use a water sprayer for wrinkles.)

• Roll with the flow. I rolled my husband's t-shirts (he has millions of them) for storage into handy bins pictured above. It is now easy to see his array of t-shirt options and quickly grab.

     Two additional notes:

1. Upcoming closet attractions: A helpful folding tool for t-shirts will be pictured in the finale Part IV of this series of blogs. Miscellaneous and jewelry organizing ideas will also be shown in future blogs.
2. Previous closet attractions: The Closet: GOIN' IN and STIRRIN' UP DUST... a/k/a... uncensored and sensory "pre-game" huddles to prepare for closet organizing... adventures. The upper right-hand column of this page lists these two introductory closet blogs. To view, simply click.

Synchronized Take-away: 1) Don't be penny-wise and dollar foolish, and 2) It is robbing yourself to buy something never worn.

Disclaimer: The size and shape of every clothes closet is unique. Mine tends to be... somewhat generous. However, most of the tips in this blog could work in conjunction with a closet/dresser combo.

The Closet: STIRRIN' UP DUST!

"The Closet," Blog #2's background: The following is a condensed, bulleted version of the spousal interaction which occurred on a Friday, AFTER my husband's always-busy workday and its collision with my  5  hours of closet organizing:

• Husband: What do you think about changing the location of the laundry baskets?
• Me: Actually, I like them where they are.
• Husband: OK.
• Caution:  TROUBLE is brewing! After applying make-up for our Friday evening Wendy's meal, I turn to annoyingly catch my husband doing... whaaaat? He's changing the location of the laundry baskets!
• Me: I've been working all day long organizing the closet and want the laundry baskets where I put them. I already tried them there and didn't like it. I turn my back and you change the set-up! without including me!... and yada, yoda.

 


Today's donation pile excludes the round pillow

     I now realize the physical and intangible dust that closet-cleaning stirs up. Wardrobe decisions include emotions. But chaos will be worthwhile for all, in the long run. Here is a re-cap of the beginnings of order (presented in the chronological order I performed them--Sensory Processing Disorder or HAMS doesn't necessarily allow me to work in an orderly fashion):

     First, it helps to allot a few days for this challenge AND purchase a few inspirational tools beforehand: Two random thrift store purchases birth in my mind the beginnings of order... a 4-tiered, sturdy shoe rack that holds 15 pairs of shoes and a storage basket. It's like Christmas in October.

• The huddled self-cheers begin: Start somewhere!! Just begin, with any step, to motivate myself.
• Store the ironing board. It takes up space and can be easily set up when needed. It is a magnet for strewn clothing. 
• Wade through zillions of dusty shoes. Some are ancient! The new shoe rack and arranging my shoes differently really helps, as well as getting rid of at least 10 pairs.

     To delay additional unsettling clothing decisions, I sensory react and distract, to the testosterone-laden portion of the closet. What was I thinking diving into that chaotic danger zone, attempting to create a semblance of order? This ultimately stirs up the emotions I shared in the beginning of this blog and includes these ??harmless?? actions:

• Create logical stations: Hubby's work shirts and pants are miles from each other. His exercise wear is equally scattered. His side of the closet begs for logical stations.
• Create a large shoe-purging heap: Hubby's work/casual shoes could fill a large bathtub, and he wears less than 6 of the pairs.

• Be storage-creative and re-use: I roll into the closet from another room, a mildly-used, small oak TV stand/storage unit. First, it needed to be cleaned out. I position it with the laundry baskets.

  
      It is now 4:30 p.m., and I know that my husband becomes uncharacteristically disturbed, with process chaos. He will hate the donation pile in the bedroom and the shoe-purging heap in the closet, but surely the day's productive accomplishments and closet-vacuuming will override the chaos.

    I re-position the laundry baskets and tweak a few more items, and then enjoy a much-needed shower. My husband will LOVE my work. NOT!

    Enough of the dusty mess. I stirred up both dust and thunder clouds, with allergy-sneezing and hairs standing on end. Click this blue link to read:   Round #1's GO-IN' IN!! -- MY WAY! MY WAY! MY WAY!

     My closet now has two beneficial seeds: 1) It has the beginnings of organized, and 2) it is manageable. Round two, done. Round three will be shared in my next blog.

The Closet: GO-IN' IN!

     Attempting to corral my disorderly clothes closet has been an unaccomplished goal for over 18 months. This to-do bullet has been erased and replaced, many times over. My closet is like the chaotic aftermath of a tornado... with endless, dusty debris. Bringing order and manageability to the beast seems like a dangerous duel. I'll sneeze from dust sensitivities, scale mountains of shoes, and unearth shocking surprises.

     I creatively procrastinate, finding thousands of other things to tackle. Interestingly, every other area of our home has been overhauled, except for under the kitchen sink (hmmm, maybe that HAS been re-organized).

     Why do I bristle at this looming project? After all, organization is one of my strengths. Maybe because of its dynamic nature, and feeling small, as portrayed in this entertaining 20-second video...

My Way! My Way! My Way!

 

  

     The closet and its contents are large, unruly employees who will not, most likely, easily submit to "My Way." Seasons, temperatures, styles, sizes and ultimately wardrobe changes nurture a mind-of-its own monstrosity: If I donate to charity this shirt that seems too loose now, WHAT-IF styles change? I like this skirt and paid lots of money for it, but... Oh, to have my daughter's intuitive fashion-sense.

     On the other hand, who knows what muck will be uncovered? There might even be a skeleton or two. Creepy!!

     Writing will therapeutically help me through this task. I will sensory blog the experience for accountability. I can make it through this... adventure! After consuming 2 days worth of mind-bending dark chocolate, I take the first step... GO-IN' IN!... to the (dim and dusty) closet.

Deflecting the Happy Meal Syndrome

     How many times, and in how many varied venues, have I experienced the Happy Meal Syndrome (HAMS)? Too many to count! Happy Meals entered into American culture June, 1979, just 10 months prior to the birth of our first child. Our son was introduced to the meal at a young age. Here is the repeated experience we had with Happy Meals:

• Our son pleads for a Happy Meal, and we buy him one. The excitement piques our son's senses, like a bungee jump rush, with adrenaline that dynamically detonates
• The colorful box, special toy, and princely meal delights him. He feels way, TOO special
• After about 20 minutes of heightened senses and eating (our McD's had no playground), our parental heads-up begins: We'll be leaving in (tick-tock) 10 minutes... 5 minutes, etc.
• At departure, he experiences deer-in-the-headlights delirium. He expects MORE!

     This scenario created unbearable backlash and nay-ing. Symptoms included spooked, egocentric, bucking-the-parents frenzy. We may have over-responded, but official Happy Meal purchases ceased; we dreaded the un-happy outcome. A burger and fries with no colorful box and no toy sufficed.

     The Happy Meal Syndrome begins when one feels de-stabilized, with hijacked sensory processing. It can occur following a (positive) adrenaline-filled event--feeling hyper-important and wanting MORE; or, it can occur during a (negative) flight-or-fight, fearful situation--feeling helpless and wanting CONTROL. A Sunday 5:00 p.m. flat tire, leaving two women stranded, miles from home, on a busy highway, combined with soon-approaching darkness definitely brings out fight-or-flight.

     In retrospect, I see that our parental responsibility was not to altogether omit the Happy Meal experience. We instead needed to teach awareness of the signs... of early piqued sensory stimulation and triggers. We many times referred to Dr. Dobson's, The Strong-Willed Child, reading it cover-to-cover. It helped for setting boundaries, but oh, to have had the enlightening Internet. Our boy somehow survived and is now a man with true character.

     The inspiring movie Secretariat portrays a calming HAMS moment. Leading into the poignant conclusion, Secretariat owner Penny Tweedy nervously awaits the next morning's Triple Crown Race. She meets with her adored stallion, lovingly stroking his mane. Horses have a keen sense for their handler's emotions and can easily become spooked. Races can be won or lost on the spook-factor. Tweedy knows this, and rather than conveying to Secretariat her desire for him to win, Tweedy speaks the unforgettable, reassuring line (learned from her late, very wise father): I didn't give up... I've already won!... I've run my race, now you run yours.

     Tweedy expresses her faith in Secretariat, no matter the outcome. The race is already won for her, in intangible, others-ways.


Peek-a-boo!

     This nostalgic Halloween 2012 picture is from my premiere blog:
Boo-logging Begins. My senses were spooked, and I felt vulnerable attempting a new writing challenge. This week my senses are once again spooked, with the noisy scrape of shingle removal and replacement, with pounding directly above me as I edit this blog. For many reasons, senses are heightened... my 12-month blogging goal is finally achieved!

Roofing chaos & NOISE!

     It feels like I've completed a doctoral comprehensive exam or dissertation. My blogs have faithfully reviewed movies, dutifully reported during a Left Behind missions trip, shared travel experiences, sensory-reviewed a book The PAPA Prayer, and shared historical and memorable family times, tasty recipes, and health tips. Like a movie's crescendo with increasingly intense music, directing viewers to heightened arousal, I feel the music. What is next, now that my goal is achieved? I want MORE!

     I, too, experience TOO sensory processing challenges, and at times it has been debilitating. However, I am ... grateful for... this weakness. Forgive this transparent, uncomfortably frail confession: I keenly sense my need... for more and for control, and I experience backlashes. In other words, I have a highly addictive personality. Rather than numbing myself with addictive substances like drugs or joy juice, I seek genuine joy.

     I seek, THE One with, eternal Substance.* I need Him, maybe more than most others do, every moment of every day. Like water, like breath, like rain... I need my life-giving Savior (John 3:16). With every sensory breath I take, and every move I make, I sensory feel His re-assuring presence. He is the center ...the fire in my heart... the wind in my sails (Vineyard).**

     Every day I learn to trust my Owner's view of the future, and every day I re-learn that He knows what is best, for all. As His spirited child and the apple of His eye, I attempt to embrace calm faith: Unless the Lord had given me help, I would soon have dwelt in the silence of death. When I said, "My foot is slipping," your love, O Lord, supported me. When ANXIETY [emphasis mine] was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul (Psalm 94:17-19).

     Did I run my blogging race well? I wasn't a sham, but embarrassingly and intentionally transparent... wondering if brutal honesty would benefit someone, somewhere, somehow. I didn't give up... writing way more than my blog-a-week commitment (thanks to TOO Sensory Processing)... Do I have any further inspiration for writing? Does it matter to anyone? Or, was this past 12 months merely one, long, egocentric, frenzied (but therapeutic) sensory lap?

     Synchronized take-away:  1) You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him or her drink (2 Cor. 5:21) and 2) Don't look a gift horse in the mouth (2 Cor. 5:7).

He laughs at fear, afraid of nothing... in frenzied excitement he eats up the ground.

He will not stand still when the trumpet sounds! (Job 39:24)

     Post-script: This is my 101st blog, published on October 31st, exactly one year after posting my 1st-ever blog. [Well, good thought, and close enough. My senses were TOO stirred to wait until 10/31 to publish. Oh, Happy Day!].

* The Substance Behind the Shadows

** "Be the Center" lyrics

Tots & Synchronized Take-aways

True Tot Story #1:  Our toddler is sitting on his living room's substantial ottoman chillin’ to Daniel the Tiger. Mommy and two grandmas are also in the room. Nana bought him the coolest, new, black suede, TOMS shoes at the second-hand store. We are all eager to see if they fit, and try-on time seems ripe:
     Let’s see if your new shoes fit!
     The immediate reply is: No.
     Aw, come on. Let’s just put one on, real fast. Mommy will take it right off.
     No.
     Nana and DeDe watch for the moment of truth. Uncomfortable shoe times fill all of our memory banks, so he ain’t budging. A creative thought enters our minds:
     JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES and Mommy will put the shoes on, real fast.
     To our bewilderment, he barely flinches and turns onto his stomach. He not only closes his eyes, but covers them; AND, he lifts his feet into the air assuming the pose: Okay, I’ll cooperate…. but only with my eyes closed. Put the shoes on already.

Synchronized sweeties (@ 22 yrs ago--see pic below)

     Mommy quickly slips the shoes on… and they fit like a charm! He likes them and actually leaves the TOMS on.
     Astonished Mommy asks: From where did that eye-closing idea come? And why did it work?
     This incident reminds me of a years-ago commercial, with hard-to-crack little Mikey being coaxed to take a scrumptious Life cereal bite. Mikey finally eats a spoonful, smiles, and big brother triumphantly exclaims: He likes it!!! Mikey likes it!!!

Synchronized take-away: 1) If at first you don't succeed, think creatively.
2) Eyes might need to be closed AND covered to soften some risky endeavors! 

True Tot Story #2:  Names are changed to protect the not-so-innocent:
     Scrub, scrub, two mischievous young tikes in a tub. One is Daniel, the other Grace. Says Daniel to himself, Wouldn’t it be fun to pee?
     Up Daniel stands and out comes the lemony stream; and better yet, onto sweet Grace.
     Tee-hee, pee-he, on me!! thinks Grace.
     Sweet Grace won’t be outdone. Up she stands and out comes her lemony stream. A stereo of tee-hees... as Mommy/sitter sees… the urine-trouble bubbles of sweet Daniel and Grace.

Synchronized take-away:  1) Two wrongs do not make a right, and 2) The PEN IS mightier than the sword.

Synchronized "face-making" (lemon juice-induced!) tasting the "other" cereal



Moments of Impact

Who's experiencing a dizzy, bumpy ride?

    Moments of Impact* (MOIs) are technically: Triangulated meta-dramas that determine relationship trajectory. It is when two or more individuals stand face-to-face cross-eyed. MOIs can either enhance or create havoc with close relationships, because my words and actions determine healthy bonds. I share four unsettling MOIs:

     MOI #1: I somewhat calmly (and hopefully clearly) share an insecure word picture with my caring and sensitive daughter: Imagine that your husband has two wives, and he favors one more than the other. You are the wife who feels less favored. Thus far, I feel like you are ignoring me, and I feel less favored compared to how you relate with..., and it hurts.

     MOI #2: Another statement tearfully but calmly shared with my oh so understanding daughter: I've shared with you before that somehow I rarely see your Instagram photos (because of the exclusive Apple regime). This long-distance grandma is missing my grandchildren's special moments.

     MOI #3: I share an insecure statement with three temporary cohabitants (actually, two were in-laws and I felt like the out-law): Three times in the last 24 hours I have somehow been left out of our planning. Then I am expected to know about the plans. Surely it is my fault, but it makes me feel stupid. What can I do to be in the loop?

     MOI #4: I share the following steady but tempered reply, responding to a family member's distressed, rapid-fire orders (can an 
I-44 flat tire create a dizzy and bumpy ride, with tense relational moments? YES!): Your orders are increasing my nervousness... I'm very glad you are with me, but you make me feel like an incompetent child... I need to think clearly, and it is impossible with bossy chatter... (OY! Yes, that is basically what I said). Let's first pray before acting during this stressful situation...

     My 11-day October trip, sharing lengthy rides, experiences, and grandchildren with in-laws and my daughter, blossomed with MOIs around every corner. I may be over-sensitive, but the motto, better to be safe than sorry rings true (especially because of my dysfunctional upbringing and heritage of denial). Words can rarely be taken back or forgotten, especially with family. In younger times, the statements above would have been reactive, expressed defensively and wantonly... or, worse yet, in aloof, passive-aggressive, Tug-of-War fashion. Family dynamics could be strangled... by my senseless insecurities.

     My preferred Moment of Impact "dance" is to hide. I am a peace-loving person. Hiding was impossible during a busy, adrenaline-spiked, sleep-deprived, people-filled road trip. I intentionally and prayerfully stepped out of my comfort zone to calm vulnerability.

     I did not demand to see immediate, selfish change (a/k/a using manipulative, hovering, Hitler or terrorist tactics). On the other hand, because we desired close relationship, we embraced clarity with patient trust, striving to motivate for clear communication (the fine line can be tricky). I am extremely grateful for extended, kindred-spirit family who embrace healthy peace.

     In retrospect, dramatic, tangible change is challenging to put a finger on. Did my expectations morph? It is a mystery. Somehow we all dynamically "danced" and teamed to fully embrace activities like: apple orchard and shopping excursions; diaper changes; bedtime routines (sharing treasured book-reading and bath-time opportunities); housecleaning and meal prep; house-, TV- and shower-sharing;  terri... ummm TREMENDOUS-two bedtime and church-going tensions; AND, complicated highway adventures.
   
     I gag on the (tart) Matrix "red pill" and conclude: Bumpy experiences precede relational MOIs, so remember to nimbly ride through the dizzy, winding chute... and pray for wisdom!

     Ah, hiding in my adorable grandson's safe tunnel is a most enviable relational approach!!!

     *The term "Moments of Impact" is masterfully portrayed in the movie The Vow, as well as the ideas of relational manipulation and motivation.